Supporting a community in the aftermath of suicide loss

Our Bereavement Coordinator, Jessica’s, work has included going out into communities that have experienced a suicide loss. Supporting a community through the aftermath of such a loss is a multi-step process that, when done effectively, can make a big difference to those impacted. 

Jessica highlights the importance of bringing together a community as soon as possible after a loss has occurred. “The aim of doing this to bring hope to a place where there was once hopelessness.” It is important to have structure to the first gathering, and have a clear goal and direction. Thinking of it like planting a seed of hope, Jessica considers what tools she can provide to the community, and how they will work with them after she has left.

Suicide loss is unique because it is sudden, aggressive, and violent. These factors cannot be changed. The social stigma that comes with the loss, though, is something that can be changed, and bringing the topic out into the open can help to extinguish the shame that may be felt by those close to a suicide loss.

The question many people ask is “Why?”

Because there is never a good enough answer to this question, Jessica does not dwell on it, focusing instead on the question of how to promote life and move forward. Her role is to bring the community together, build connection, and provide educational support about suicide loss. These things alone can be life supporting. It is also about fostering an understanding that we all grieve the same loss, but we all grieve differently. Life-affirming activities, respecting the needs of others, and staying connected with each other are some steps a community can take towards healing.

Jessica also emphasizes the value of moving beyond the grief of the suicide death, to celebrating and remembering the life of the person. As Jessica says, “One event does not define a life”, and focusing on who the person was beyond their suicide can be healing. 

Finally, it’s about normalizing pain in the path of life. We all experience pain – and what should we do with it? Building capacity to come together and heal from a suicide loss certainly seems like a positive step.